There’s one simple difference between people who get what they want and those who have to settle for what they can.
It’s a small secret that you’ve probably heard of… but aren’t doing. And it’s costing you missed opportunities, in your business and in your life. On the other hand, if you master this skill, you become one of those powerful people who succeeds at whatever they set out to do. Not powerful as in tyrannical or manipulative. You become extremely resourceful and wise. Plus, your people skill will improve a ton.
So what’s this secret to getting what you want?
…its simply just ask for it.
- If you want a simple favor from someone, ask them
- If you want an interview with somone, ask them
- If you want someone’s product for free, ask them
- If you want an SEO expert to coach you, ask them
To get what you want, you just have to ask.
If you get a “no” just be persistent (I’ll show you the right and wrong way to do this later on)
Are you with me? But you see, most people don’t do it because they either fear rejection or anticipate it.
If you’re scared of rejection, maybe this business isn’t for you. My sales pages convert 1-10%. That means my customers are “rejecting me” 90-99% of the time. I also believe that no one reaches true success without failing and getting turned down first.
So you might think that the other person will say no so you don’t even attempt to ask. This is common, especially when you’re asking for a big favor or contacting someone really important. While it’s likely that a lot of the top guys in your market are busy and won’t have time for you, you never know until you try.
And once you do, you’ll be surprised how many people say yes.
Here are some more examples that will hopefully help you make this shift in thinking:
Product owners will give out their products for free if you ask - If someone has a really quality product, they’re MORE likely to give you a copy for free. This is why some companies offer free samples.
They know you’ll like it and want to buy more from them. If the product sucked, they would try to sell it to you upfront. Frank Kern says to give away your best stuff first. Eben calls this “moving the free line”.
Bear in mind that some product have a tangible COST associated with it. Like a service or something that costs the owner money to distribute.
But with most digital products on the internet (cough cough WSOs cough), it doesn’t cost the owner anything to give away 1 more copy.
Bottom line: just ask for what you want. It only takes a simple email or phone call. I’ve gotten tons of products for free just by asking and offering to promote it or review it. I’ve also given away a ton of my products for free to people who approached me nicely and asked for a review copy.
Lots of experts (or just people with more experience than you) are happy to mentor you if you ask - Who doesn’t like the feeling of being in that “teacher” role? I get asked for help and coaching a lot and people always think they’re taking up my “time”. No. I enjoy helping people. And anyone in a position to teach will tell you the same thing.
Case in point: My buddy David used to do SEO consulting. He was at a mixer with a client and started talking business with another SEO-guy. His client was pretty impressed with Mr. X and a week later, called for an “emergency meeting” with David and Mr. X. During the meeting, Mr. X. laid out his SEO strategy and the client hired Mr. X right then and there. He fired David.

What did David do? He didn’t get angry or resentful.
Instead, he called up Mr. X (who has 10+ years of SEO experince) and asked him to teach David everything he knew about SEO. Mr. X agreed and now they’re business partners. Everytime I talk with David now, I am blown away by how much he new SEO knowledge has to share.
By the way, if they refuse because they’re busy or whatever, offer to “intern” for them. Do their busy work so you learn how they run their business and pick up lots of IM knowledge along the way. I know lots of guys who got good at whatever skill they were trying to learn by being an “apprentice”.
Most experts are happy to do an interview with you if you ask – One of the easiest ways to create a product is to interview an expert and leveraging their knowledge and experience. It may seem a little intimidating to approach an expert and ask for their help, but the truth is, these experts WANT to be interviewed. It’s an ego boost to be positioned as an expert and doing an interview. Plus, it helps them gain publicity.
When people don’t reply to your emails, chance’s are, they’re just busy - Get in touch with them again a few days later. I know some marketers intentionally ignore requests because they want to see how serious the sender is. In an interview, Jason Fladlien admitted to intentionally ignore initial emails he received asking for coaching or requests to intern for him. He would wait for them to email him again (sometimes even 3 times) to screen out the serious applicants.
This brings me to my next point…
How to Be Persistent Without Coming Off As A D-Bag

LMAO... best Halloween costume EVER!
If you want to get what you want, you’re going to have to be persistent. Persistence is going to get you noticed and improve your chances of getting what you’re asking for.
Here’s an example: Think about the kid in the movie UP. Remember how he kept coming back to the old man’s house over and over again so he could get his final merit badge? It ain’t over till it’s over.
(I’m sure there’s better examples of this, with success people in history, but I really can’t think of one..lol).
Here’s the important part: the key is to be non-needy and offer value.
Non-needy means you don’t give off a vibe of scarcity. AKA don’t send stuff like,
“Hey I really want a free copy of your latest product. I need to learn how to make $300 in the next week. I just got fired from my job and need to pay rent this month. I’m really desperate. Please please please.”
Yuck. I hope you can see what’s wrong with this picture. When I was selling my skateboarding ebook, I used to get emails from people all the time, telling me how they have no money and want my stuff for free. It’s not that I’m a dick. It’s because I don’t want to reinforce their needy, value-sucking behavior.
Offering value means giving something back in return. For example, exchanging services. If you’re really good at something or can hook them up with something that will help them, say so! I get my copy looked at by highly paid copywriters because I offer them SEO services.
If you’re not in that position to do that, the best way to offer value is to… make them laugh.
Use humor to put a smile of their face and make yourself stand out from all the other people asking them for stuff.
For example, I had a client who I sold a website to. I asked him for updated earning screenshots for a case study. He didn’t HAVE TO give them to me.
I sent him 5 emails (each 3-5 days apart) asking for them. I didn’t come from a place of neediness and simply joked around. This was the one that finally broke him down…
Email 6:
This is how I feel, because you still have not replied to me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBMYow46LxQ
Sad..sad…sad…
:p
Please reply! I still look forward to getting those screenshots from you
”
That link by the way is an Air Supply music video.
After that, he finally replied… and gave me my much needed screenshots. He also apologized for not responding to me initially because he was busy.
That’s 6 freakin’ emails in a row! When was the last time you emailed someone that many times because they didn’t respond?
Which goes to show, persistence always wins (thank you Air Supply).
When my first few emails were getting ignored, I knew I needed to change my strategy. I offered SEO help to sweeten the deal. Still no reply. So I thought, screw it, I have nothing to lose, so I might as well amuse myself and give him a good laugh.
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Sidenote – I would not normally bug someone that much unless it was really important. These screenshot were pretty darn important because they provide proof that what I’m teaching actually works. I personally believe all IM products should be backed with relevant screenshots.
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That’s it for this post… leave a comment below on what you think about asking for what you want and persistence. I want to hear YOUR thoughts